


Weird's in a Name

by Little_Bunny



Series: The Weird 'Verse [6]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Non-Sexual Age Play, Platonic Relationships, Queerplatonic Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-08
Updated: 2020-01-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:58:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,335
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22176175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Little_Bunny/pseuds/Little_Bunny
Summary: It's a day out for the three of them. Technically (but only very technically) they're scouting for a location.Shane makes a new little friend.Sara and Ryan talk.Ryan takes care of Shane.
Relationships: Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej, Ryan Bergara & Shane Madej & Sara Rubin, Shane Madej/Sara Rubin
Series: The Weird 'Verse [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1563661
Comments: 24
Kudos: 97





	Weird's in a Name

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: This is about a fictional version of the media personas of the aforementioned individuals, and is not about and has no connection to any of these people or places in real life. This is an alternative universe unconnected to the real world where we live.

“So what did you think?” Ryan asks him after dinner, while Sara is in the shower.

“Of the prisoner thing?” Shane shrugged. “It was pretty good. Still got that sweet, sweet endorphin kick. But I don’t think I’m into it for like, all the time. I didn’t, uh...it wasn’t as nice as, you know, the little thing.” He looks slightly nervous as he says it, as though he thinks Ryan might disagree with him.

Ryan nods. It had been a little weird for him too, to be so rough with Shane. The last name, bright orange jumpsuit, and handcuffs had helped, but he still sort of felt as though he’d been roughing up his little, which didn’t feel great. “It’s okay for every now and again, if we want,” he says. "But uh, not all the time. Not with you."

As soon as he says it, he starts worrying that Shane's going up take his words the wrong way. He doesn't though. In fact, he looks relieved.

Shane nods agreeably. “Always good to try new things, I guess,” he says. "But yeah, I like the little thing better, I think."

So they're in agreement there, at least for now.

It’s the weekend, and the three of them are at Knotts’ Berry Farm. Technically, they're "scouting" for a video that Ryan's trying to produce, but actually, they're there because it’s one of Ryan’s favorite places, and Shane and Sara like it too. All three of them have eaten waaaay too many fried foods, and they’re walking through the midway area while they wait for things to digest.

Ryan knows these kinds of things are an absolute racket, but then Shane tugs on his sleeve. “Look, Ry!” he says, and that’s not big Shane’s voice. It’s much too little. And what the hell is he pointing at?

He glances over at Sara, who obviously heard him too if her amused eyes mean anything. She’s still holding Shane’s hand as if her boyfriend didn’t drop smack-dab in the center of little space by the magic of corn dogs and cheaply produced stuffed animals from China.

"Do you see it?" Shane asks, and gamely, Ryan tries to follow the trajectory of Shane's finger. His heart sinks a little.

There, nestled between what appears to be plush versions of an alien and a Yeti, is a Bigfoot. Ryan knows it's a Bigfoot because its species name is stamped helpfully along the sole of its foot.

The only good news is that it appears to come in several sizes. He might be able to win a small one for Shane; his aim is alright.

There's no fucking way he could win one of the giant monstrosities. Thankfully, because the mini one is still hella ugly.

He sighs. "Really, big guy?" he asks. The look he gets is actually pleading. There's even a hint of stuck-out, pouting lower lip there.

Sara is actually laughing, because she is a jerk who enjoys watching him cave to little Shane. "Alright, I'll try, but I can't promise anything."

Three bucks gets him three balls, and it takes him all three to calibrate his shot, but he figures out that he has to throw them higher, further, and dead-center compared to a normal free-throw. 

It takes 24 dollars worth of balls before he sinks enough to win the plushie, which wouldn't be so bad if the damn thing was worth more than 50 cents. The hawker pulls it down from the second row and hands it to Ryan. 

"Thanks, man," he says. Shane's got his hand twisted in the back of Ryan's shirt, practically quivering with excitement. Sara still has his other hand, at least.

The hawker is probably extremely confused about this particular situation, although there's no doubt about who he won the toy for. He can't even pretend that Sara's the one who wanted it, because Shane is all wide eyes and bouncing on his toes.

"Alright, buddy, I got you your friend," Ryan says, turning to give Shane the Bigfoot doll. Shane looks ridiculously excited, taking the 20-inch plush from Ryan and immediately giving it a giant hug. "He's so cute!" he coos at it.

Sara's got a big, stupid grin on her face when Shane almost bowls Ryan over with a hug next. "Thanks, Ry!" He's so excited, and okay, it's adorable even if the stuffie itself is hideous.

Sara's there with her phone. "Smile, boys!" she orders. Shane throws his arm around Ryan's neck and holds the stuffed animal in frame. Ryan smiles reflexively as she takes a few pics. But then he glances at Shane, whose face is the picture of contentment, and his own smile relaxes too.

"What's its name, Shane?" he asks as Shane loops its arms together and hangs the Bigfoot from his neck. It dangles there like a tiny cryptid attached to a Mama Cryptid.

(The little one is obviously adopted, but no less loved for it.)

Shane grabs Sara's hand again before looking down at the thing. "His name is Harold," he says decisively, his voice still in that particular cadence that only shows up when he's little, "and he is the Destroyer of Worlds." He gives Harold a fond pat on the head, then reaches over and takes Ryan's hand too. 

Ryan doesn't even flinch, not anymore. Shane and Sara could not care less, and thus, he doesn't either. If his little big guy wants to hold his hand, well, fine. The internet has seen weirder shit than a girl and two guys holding hands.

"Destroyer of Worlds, huh?" Ryan comments. "I dunno, he looks pretty soft and cute."

Sara shoots him the softest damn look he's ever seen from her.

"He is," Shane replies. "He can do both. He's multitalented!"

"Oh, alright then," Ryan says, because he can't really argue with that. 

"Can we ride the rides yet?" Shane asks. Now that he has his new friend, he's moved right along, like the little one he is.

Ryan's own stomach feels okay. He glances over at Sara, who shrugs gamely.

"You're not too full? I don't want you to throw up on me," Ryan says, looking at Shane. He sees Sara making that face, the one that says she sees him babying Shane and she thinks it's adorable.

"No, I'm okay. It took you forever to win Harold and everything basically digested."

That earns a guffaw from Sara. Ryan would swat him, but Shane's got a good grip on his hand so instead, he just says, "You spoiled little brat!" His voice is too fond. "Just wait 'til we get home."

Shane seems unconcerned. "Can we ride Ghost Rider?" he asks. "Please?" He turns to Sara. "Please, Sara?"

"I'm fine with it. What does Ry think?" She looks at him. It's domestic and slightly weird, considering Sara isn't his girlfriend, but also, it isn't the first time they've teamed up like this.

"Alright, let's go check out how long the line is for Ghost Rider," Ryan agrees, and Shane swings his hands in theirs as the three of them make their way to the Old West part of the park. 

* * *

By the time they're piling back into the car to go home, all three of them are tired, and Sara and Shane are both slightly pink from too much sun. Ryan says, "I'll sit in the back, since I started there," but Shane shakes his head.

He kept coming up and slipping back into little space all day. He didn't mean to do it, exactly, but they were at an amusement park, so everyone was already relaxed and playing around, and when he'd seen the Bigfoot, he'd barely even had the words to explain how much he wanted him. And Ry had won him for him, because well… As much fun as it is to tease him about being small, he's pretty good at the sports ball stuff, and also taking care of Shane when he's little. This particular thing stood directly in that intersection.

He'd left Harold looped around his neck. It seems like he's spent the day having trouble deciding if he was feeling big or little, although it hardly matters when they're all just having fun and playing like kids anyway. But it's been a long day, and all Shane knows is that he doesn't care if he's big or little, he's tired and grumpy and he doesn't want to drive.

He might have said that last bit out loud.

The look on Ryan's face is slightly wary as he says, "Okay, that's fine. How about you sleep, then, big guy? You can stretch out in the back behind Sara."

"You wanna drive, Ryan?" Sara asks, looking tired too. Ry nods.

"No problem. Come on, let's head home."

So Shane climbs in the backseat and stretches his legs out, with Harold still wrapped around his neck. He sighs and sort of cuddles him against his chest, because Harold is soft and fluffy and a good cuddler, even if he does destroy worlds in his spare time.

"Put your seatbelt on, still," Ry says, and he does as he's told because it seems easier than arguing about it.

He's probably feeling kind of little, at least right this minute, he decides as he falls asleep, tucking his knuckle in his mouth.

* * *

Sara is quiet, but awake. Low indie rock is playing through the car's Bluetooth system, but she doesn't want to leave Ryan the only one up for the ride home. 

Plus, his sense of direction is notoriously bad, so there's that.

"I got way more sun than I expected," she says to Ryan. "Should have brought more sunscreen."

In the backseat, Shane is dead asleep, cuddled up to that ugly Bigfoot that Ryan won him, with his pointer finger in his mouth.

Ryan pulls back the strap of his tank top, showcasing a rich tan line. "Same, though it looks prettier on me," he jokes.

They're good enough friends that this joke will land. "Yeah, I got the white privilege, but your skin looks much prettier, so that's about even, right?" 

He cracks up. "Nice," he says. He glances in the rearview, and she knows that he's checking on Shane. "God, I hate when he sticks his fingers in his mouth," Ryan grumbles.

"Your little boy is fine. A few germs won't hurt him," she says. "He's always done that thing with his finger when he's stressed or really tired."

"I never used to know about it," Ryan grumbles. "Hope he's got a strong immune system."

"He's fine, Papa Ryan," Sara replies, hoping she's not needling him too hard. She likes to tease him a little, but doesn't want to actually make him uncomfortable. "Don't worry so much."

Ryan's eyes are soft as he takes in Shane curled around that abomination of a stuffed animal. "Not to be too parental, but I kind of thought he might lose it in the parking lot if one of us didn't drive."

"Nah, I saw it too," Sara confirms. Shane doesn't generally lose it--he's easy-going to the point of being meek much of the time--but on the rare occasions that he gets there, he really gets there. He doesn't yell at or intimidate people. Sara personally believes that's because he's so tall, and he can understand how frightening an angry man of his size could be. But he will occasionally just yell, at an inanimate object, or the sky, or whatever. He just stands there and yells at nothing and nobody until he pulls it together and can go forward. "I was glad you offered though, because I'm so zonked."

"I do like your car, even if it's kind of...tall."

It's a behemoth. Her last car was a Prius, but once she and Shane moved in together, it was abundantly clear that more leg room needed to be a priority. It's still a hybrid, but an SUV nonetheless. 

"It makes me feel like I should be going camping all the time," Sara says.

"Gross," Ryan remarks. 

She pulls up her phone and checks her Twitter mentions. Surprisingly, no one snapped a photo of the three of them wandering through Knott's hand in hand today. "I think we might have gotten away with today, though," she says. "We'll see."

"No Twitter mentions?" Ryan asks, pushing his sunglasses onto the top of his head. They do get recognized a fair amount when they go out, but not so much that they can't go to theme parks or other fun places. The hats and sunglasses help immensely, as does the fact that people don't really expect to see them, so they don't. They get recognized more in LA proper.

"Not yet," Sara says. She takes hers off too and drops them into her purse, since the sun is getting pretty low.

"I mean, we weren't doing anything wrong," Ryan says, although he sounds a hair defensive.

"We really weren't," Sara assures him. She pats his shoulder. "You've gotten a lot more, I don't know… Relaxed, about this whole thing, and what it looks like or whatever."

Ryan sighs, and she wonders if he's going to deny it. "Yeah," he says. "Guess you're right. But he's my boy. He's always been my boy, and now he's like, little sometimes, so he's my little boy too, and I just...I don't give a fuck anymore, you know?" She sees him swallow some kind of emotion. "If he wants to hold hands, I'll fucking hold hands. I don't care." His eyes are very firmly glued to the road as he says it.

"Yeah," Sara says. "You love him."

"Yeah," Ryan replies, and that seems like a damn miracle in and of itself, that the emotionally constipated man who once created a weird pillow wall so he wouldn't accidentally touch arms with Shane at three am would now hold Shane's hand--in public!--and win him the ugliest stuffed animal she's ever seen, just because it made him happy. 

He glances at her. "It doesn't seem to bother you," he says. She shrugs.

"It doesn't. Why would it? He's my boyfriend, and he's your, uh...little."

"That's not the word you're thinking," Ryan says, glancing at her again, then looking it in the mirror at a still-sleeping Shane. "I mean, it's not the wrong word, but you hesitated."

She did, but she hadn't thought he'd think anything of it. "I've been reading," she says.

He raises an eyebrow. "And…?" he says expectantly.

"I don't know if you're gonna like the name," she says honestly.

He takes a deep breath. "Let me hear it," he says, making a little 'give it to me' motion with his right hand.

"It's called a queerplatonic relationship." Some things, it's better to just do like ripping off a band-aid. 

She's expecting him to flinch at the "queer" part of queerplatonic, because Ryan has always been a little protective of his heterosexuality and masculinity, but he doesn't. 

To be fair, he's been much more relaxed about it recently.

"Yeah, that seems to fit," he says instead, which kind of throws her for a loop, because she hadn't even heard of it until she overheard one of the interns talking about their queerplatonic partner over lunch a couple weeks back.

"Where did you hear about that?" Sara asks instead. "No offense, but it doesn't seem like your kind of reading material."

"None taken," Ryan says. "I was reading through comments on the Eight-Day-Bride case, and it came up. I didn't know what it meant, so Google to the rescue...and then I fell down the rabbit hole. I don't know how well I actually understand it, but..."

"Oooh," Sara says, because yeah, that's exactly something Ryan would do. "I mean, it fits."

"Yeah," Ryan agrees. "It's not romance, there's no sexy stuff, but we're still close as fuck. I mean, I've got plenty of friends, but you know, Shane is special."

She sees it too. "You wouldn't spend $25 to win a Bigfoot doll for just any of your friends, is that what you're telling me?" Sara teases him.

"Hey, it was $24, thank you very much," Ryan replies. "Shit, I probably could have gotten it off Amazon for like, half that."

She glances in the mirror, where Shane is still cuddled up with the ugly thing. "Yeah, but look how happy you made him," she says. 

Ryan's got a dopey little smile on his face as he looks back at Shane."He's pretty cute," he agrees.

"You're so gross, and I love it," she says. "Both of you."

Ryan just hums contentedly. "You wanna stop at Taco Bell and get a snack?" he asks. "I think I'm starving."

"Sure," Sara says, because she's hungry too. "You think we should wake the boy?"

Ryan blows out a breath as he takes the off ramp with the small sign promising tacos. 

"Maybe," he says. "Shane, are you awake?" His voice is louder than it was. "We're getting tacos."

Shane lets out a small whine as Ryan pulls into the drive through. "'M hungry," he mumbles sleepily.

"I know," Ryan says, and he sounds like a sympathetic dad. "What do you want, honey?"

She manages not to make any noise at the cuteness that's happening, but it might be the hardest thing she's ever done.

"Hard shells. And two double deckers," Shane says, sounding a little more awake. "And a Baja Blast."

"Lemonade or Sprite?" Ryan says. "You gotta sleep once you get home."

Shane sighs. "Lemonade, please," he says. It's hard to tell how old Shane feels sometimes, but he sounds like he's still feeling both little and tired. 

They pull forward, and Ryan easily delivers his own order as well as Shane's. "What about you, Sara?" he asks in an aside.

She gets a number 6 with a Sprite, because Ryan made a pretty good point about wanting to sleep once they get home.

They pull into a parking spot to eat Shane opens and immediately dumps an entire packet of taco sauce on Harold, who is still fastened around his neck. He looks like he might cry. They're all a little loopy and overtired by now, but Shane especially seems to be having a hard time.

"Hey buddy, it's okay," Ryan says over a mouthful of taco. "Here. Gimme Harold, alright? I'll fix him."

Shane looks mildly suspicious, but hands the Bigfoot doll over. Ryan wipes the worst of it off with a napkin, then scrubs at the fur with another one, wet with a little water from his hydro flask. He's eating a taco with his spare hand. It's peak Dad mode, and it's fucking cute.

Sara makes a note that she'll have to throw Harold in the wash once they get home, but at least that will work for now. She really hopes the doll is sturdy enough to handle it.

Shane takes him back and squeezes the doll around the middle. "Thanks Ry," he says softly. The doll goes next to him, and Shane finally starts eating too.

The only sounds are the Lumineers in the background and the soft sounds of chewing and swallowing. It's peaceful and pleasant. 

Ryan finishes eating first, and he sighs and rubs his belly before he pulls back onto the road. "No rest for the wicked," he says.

"How far are we from home?" Shane asks. "I fell asleep."

"Maybe 15, 20 miles," Ryan says. "We'll probably be back in half an hour."

"Okay," Shane says. "You ok, Ry?"

"I'm great," Ryan affirms. "Taco Bell and you guys. What else do I need?"

"How about you, Sara?" Shane asks. She reaches a hand to the backseat and squeezes his.

"I'm fine, just tired," she says. 

"Me too," Shane replies, squeezing back. "I do smell like taco sauce though. Think it got my shirt and not just Harold."

She can't help the little giggle this prompts. Shane follows, and Ryan snorts.

Everything's funny if you're tired enough.

* * *

They invite Ryan to stay the night, because it's 20 more minutes to his place. Both Shane and Sara are sincere in their invitation.

He's so tired that he takes them up on it. "Take the first shower," Sara offers. "The sheets in the guest room are clean."

So Ryan does. While he's in the shower, he hears Shane say, "Hey, I've got some sweats for you," and his clothes disappear.

He shrugs and puts the ones from Shane on instead. He's a little stockier than Shane, but much shorter, so the clothes are too long by far, but they fit okay around his waist. He usually gets the 30 inch inseam, but it's pretty clear that Shane goes for the 34, because the sweats have...a lot more ankle and wrist than he's accustomed to.

Shane pops into the shower next, and though Ryan's feeling that it's getting late, he still brings his water bottle to refill and says goodnight to Sara before returning to the guest room.

In a few minutes, a knock sounds at the door. 

Ryan is not quite asleep yet. "Come in," he says.

Shane peeks shyly around the doorway. "Hi," he says quietly. His damp hair is hanging in his face, and he's got on Spider Man pajama pants and a soft tee shirt. He looks…pretty little.

"Where's Harold?" Ryan asks, because Shane's new pal is nowhere to be seen.

Shane sighs. "Sara put him in the wash too," he says. He sounds a little whiny. He creeps over to the edge of the bed.

"Well, you did spill hot sauce on him," Ryan points out. "A bath is probably in order."

Shane nods. "Yeah, I know," he says. He flops on the bed next to Ryan, leaning against him for a moment. "You look so small in my clothes," he says out of nowhere.

"Be nice, brat" Ryan says, swatting his leg where he can reach. Shane laughs.

"That wasn't nice?" he asks. "I'm just taller than you, Ry." His voice is soft.

"Yeah, but you're still my little boy," Ryan reminds him, because Shane sounds like he's on the edge of being little. "Aren't you?" He pats Shane on the bottom. 

It's not fair, because he knows it sends him straight into little space, but Ryan doesn't care.

"Yeah," Shane says. His voice is tiny and sleepy. He leans against Ryan, and for a few minutes, they cuddle like that.

Ryan sighs. "You should probably go to bed," he tells him. "You don't want to leave Sara alone, right?"

"I don't wanna leave you alone either," Shane complains.

"I'm okay, honey," he tells him. "Go sleep by Sara. We can cuddle in the morning, alright?"

There's a knock on the door. "You can sleep by your Papa Ry," Sara says, "if you want. I don't mind."

She's wearing one of Shane's tee shirts, but it is huge on her, hanging nearly to her knees, and at the hem, he sees a hint of boxer shorts that he's going to guess are also Shane's, or were at one point. Her curls are still damp and mostly wrapped in a towel.

She's an unstoppable force, and Ryan is too tired to be an immovable object.

Ryan sighs. "Okay, whatever. Just sleep. Goodnight, Sara."

"Night, Sara," Shane echoes.

"Goodnight boys," she says, and then he hears her footsteps cross the hall 

"'Night, Ry," Shane says, cuddling up to him. 

He's warm and comfortable, and he's got his little big guy curled up against his chest. Life is pretty good.

"Night, Shane," he tells him. "Sleep tight."

* * *

Shane wakes up in the middle of the night to pee, then slips back into bed with Sara, sliding his arm over her middle.

"Mmm… Hey," she murmurs, still half asleep. He kisses the back of her head.

"Night," he says.

"Night," she replies.

* * *

When Ryan wakes up in the morning, the first face he sees is Harold's. The doll is sitting on a pile of yesterday's (clean, folded) clothes. "What the fuck," he says.

It's a lot to face, first thing in the morning.

Shane pops into the room as if summoned. "Look, Ry, Sara got all the stains out," he points out. And it's true--you can't even tell that Harold got annointed with taco sauce. The long, dark brown synthetic fur looks reasonably soft and fluffy, undamaged from yesterday.

"Good," Ryan manages to mumble. "He was an expensive little buddy."

"Yeah, but it didn't hurt him any," Shane says, and of course, the part of his brain that is a caregiver says, 'yes, very good. Important friend.'

"Yes, very good. Important friend," he mumbles tiredly. "Good job, Sara."

Shane flops on the bed next to him. "Ry, are you gonna get up yet?"

Ryan sighs. "I dunno. What time is it?"

"Like eight thirty," Shane says. Ryan stretches. He kind of wants to lay in bed a little longer. It's a Sunday morning, after all.

"Is Sara up?" he asks reluctantly.

"She went to yoga at eight," Shane says.

"Are you little?" He knows the answer already.

Shane nods.

"Ok, honey. Can you get your binky and just come snuggle with me for a little bit?"

Shane nods again, and he bounces off the bed. Ryan can hear him rummaging through the closet. The noises stop, and he braces himself slightly.

Shane takes a flying leap onto the bed, thankfully into the open mattress on Ryan's left. He snuggles right up to Ryan, and tucks Harold against his chest for good measure.

"Comfy?" Ryan asks. He still is, and Shane looks pretty satisfied, with his binky in his mouth and his Bigfoot in his arm 

Shane nods decisively.

Ryan wraps an arm around him. "Good. Now take a nap with _ Papi_ _ Ry,_ okay?"

He feels Shane nod, and that's good enough for him.

It's only as he's nearly sleeping that he realizes: _ I just called myself Papi Ry, completely unironically. _

_ Goddamnit, Sara! _


End file.
